I read this as being addressed to owners of businesses that sell bananas off a countertop and had an existential crisis wondering how the fuck I never realized that was a thing
Let alone why it’d be an issue for them to have only a single banana left in stock
RTFM.
What’s this “nature’s way” crap, when the bananas are hanging upside down?
Tap for bananas
As though there is anything natural about the modern banana
Are you implying they are supernatural?
Preternatural.
Where on the scale is that? Is it higher or lower than supernatural?
A banana for scale would be helpful.
It is higher than the banana, relative to the direction they’re oriented. Determining which orientation is correct is left as an exercise to the reader.
Banana stand people: hang loose man!
Actual bananas: <flips like 50 birds to the camera>
This is the way. Cut the second to last banana below the stem. Works perfectly.
I think we’re all missing the most important question here: where do you get someone small enough to work the countertop banana stand?!?
You make a trade with someone from the actors guild.
Banana for scale.
Loompaland?
After they unionized? No way.
Oompa loompa doompa de dabor
Only support businesses with unionized labor
You rip the second-last one off to leave the stem, which now becomes a hook.
Mine it for potassium-40. Radioactive products sell for more than one banana, which as others have noted cost $10 but if you can purify the radioactive elements, you can probably get $11 or even $12.
Plus, the YouTube revenue. Imagine me and Nile Red turning a banana into something where we get a visit from the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory. They’d pay upwards of $14.50.
Sometimes a rubber band, sometimes a twist tie
Suffer
Cut it in half and tie the two ends together
Skewer it with the hook.
Just lay it on the base of the stand.
I heard countertop banana stand owners tend to also own banana hammocks.
I’m going to buy a banana stand, and knit a hammock to hang from it.
Impale it as an example to other bananas that might step out of line.
There’s always money in the banana stand. Use the last banana for a free smoothie for your employee, or throw the rotton thing out and order more for tomorrow.
Eat the last two together
