Just keep telling her she’s awesome. Don’t focus on the legs, just tell her all the things you love about her. And if she directly asks you about them, don’t make it a big deal. Just say “I don’t care, you’re beautiful.” For me the best thing my husband did was to counter the constant onslaught of beauty standards over media by telling me every day what he loves about me and how cool he thinks I am.

I guarantee you it’s not the only thing she self-conscious about. Just let her be who she is and love her for her. No need to try to change her. Doesn’t sound like she’s doing anything unhealthy with the stockings. There might be other things tho?

It doesn’t matter if it’s an issue “for anyone” it’s an issue to her, the person who matters, the person who owns the legs… being dismissive definitely won’t make her feel better. Don’t bring it up at all, give her compliments that don’t talk about her light skin at all.

Those legging-thingies may make her more physically comfortable if they support her circulation. Or they might just make her more emotionally comfortable. Rather than insist she change her public appearance, you can appreciate her lovely legs in private, and be glad she’s willing to let you see and touch them.

I don’t think you can really control how someone else feels about something. You can complement her, you can ask her to set her feelings aside, you can control your input to her emotional system, but you can’t control that her mom or an ex or an ad or whoever said something negative about it.

This might be something where you can negotiate. In certain places or whatever maybe she’ll agree to go with bare legs (maybe not!) and then in general she will cover them. But there isn’t really anything you can do to control her emotions—even in a positive way.

Leave that pandora’s box alone. Tell her you don’t care but don’t press the issue. She’s probably already thinking about it enough. She could talk to a therapist or plastic surgeon but I’d leave that up to her.

Tights / Stockings.

Every woman I know has felt pressured to look a certain way by our dominant capitalistic world view. With the emergence of social media and influencer culture, men are starting to feel this pressure affect them too.

Its very hard to make someone stop believing that something objectively apparent doesn’t matter. Its less about whether it matters to you and more about how she feels others perceive what she perceives to be a flaw.

Telling her that it doesn’t matter to you is totally fair. Telling her it doesn’t matter to anyone would not be entirely true - yes, our culture can be that superficial.

There are, after all, entire industries that count on us to impart such insecurity onto our daughters so that they spend on beauty products their whole lives and keep that revenue engine churning.

My suggestion would be to reassure her that it doesn’t matter to you but to also see if you can have a broader conversation on the social pressures she has experienced related to her appearance and how it has impacted her life. You may have had similar experiences to share. This will brinf you closer, remembering that true confidence comes from strong relationships built on a foundation of mutual trust.

Shower her with constant compliments. Whenever you look at her and see how beautiful she is, tell her right then. The more you do it, the easier it gets. If you feel like you are just saying the same thing over and over, find more things to compliment.

Beyond that, just accept her how she is. In order to confront a deeply set fear like this, you have to first feel really safe. You can’t force her to confront her fears, and don’t expect her to.

Source: my fiancée has a similar insecurity, and i have made her happy-cry at least once a week for our entire relationship.

Sorry I can’t contribute to the topic, but you should know that if she has varicose veins instead of just veins close to the skin’s surface, she should get them treated at some point

Not a female, and nowhere close to being as good as you described her, but if you can convey it to her, please do - practically no one cares (maybe not the best way to put it). What I mean is, I have never looked so closely at a women (or their legs). I have other male friends, who are also attracted towards females, and they have never noticed (or at least have never discussed this detailed noticing with me). If she is uncomforable, there could be 2 possible reasons, either she thinks what others think of it, or she is worried about it from a medical prespective. I will come to latter later, but for the former, as i said, I do not think anybody really pays this close attention (at least I do not, and i consider myself as average). Maybe you would have noticed, potentially because you are their partner or close friend, but very likely even you might not have really noticed till she mentioned it to you. So please tell her, it doees not matter.

Medically, it is perfectly normal to have your veins being observable. My guess is that probably the person has really fair skin (almost white), and may not have many melanocytes (maybe genetics, or maybe some disease), and if she does not have a mild or severe reactions (for example, itchiness, or redness) to going out in sun, then her body is producing close to adequate amount of melanin. Veins do appear if the skin is thin around those portions, and skin itself is light (absorbance). If they do not have any reactions in going out, she should feel perfectly ok (tanning does not count as a reaction, that is expected, also, she may not tan much because of lack of melanin, but that is a separate thing). If she has some reactions, then she should consult some dermatoligist, and should probably start wearing some creams (some appropriate spf, sorry, I do not know much about this stuff).

TL;DR - Tell her to not care. In case of any allergies, consult a dermatologist.

Probably kiss her in the area she’s insecure of when you’re making love. Throw some complements while at it.