Summary
Keir Starmer faces growing pressure from Labour’s key financial backers, trade unions, and business leaders to forge closer UK-EU ties after Trump’s new tariffs sparked economic concerns.
The U.S. imposed a 10% tariff on the UK and 25% on key sectors, endangering 25,000 UK car jobs.
A TUC poll shows 66% of Britons now support stronger EU ties. Labour MPs and pro-EU groups argue Starmer’s Brexit red lines are outdated.
Critics warn ignoring EU alignment risks deeper economic damage.
Referendums don’t always work, so instead we should throw Nigel Farage into the sea.
If he drowns, we apply to join the EU.
If he floats, we fish him out of the sea and try and set him on fire. If he burns, we apply to join the EU. If he doesn’t burn, we “nexit” him with a guillotine and apply to join the EU.This seems pretty one sided with various ways to control the system to get what you want. I propose adding external elements to make things fair.
Such as throw fartage into a lion’s enclosure. If they eat him we join the EU.
If not then we find a pit of alligators/crocs and throw him into that.
If he survives that then it’s to the tank of piranha and let him have a week in there etc etc until he pops his clogs and we join.It’s the only way for it to be fair and democratic.
These are very sensible and fair plans - though you have to be careful not to make it too much fun, else people might be inclined to say “delay the EU application another month, next week they’re throwing Farage in with some bears! I must see that!”.
Weren’t such sacrifices traditionally done into volcanoes?
: p
By some traditions, yes. Volcanic sacrifice was particularly popular in the Victorian Era, for example. Unfortunately for fans of the method (and fortunately for those who live in these areas) most of the best volcanoes were in the outer territories of the former British Empire, which are now independent.
I’m sure Ben Nevis is due another pop any time now, but until then “1, 2, 3, into the sea!” :)
neckxit
What if he does a Harold Holt and mysteriously vanishes, never to be seen again?
That’s a very good question. I think in that case we have to assume “drowned: apply to join the EU”. If he turns up mysteriously alive at a later date, we can set fire to him etc “in arrears”.
The Breturn?
Great Breturnia.
Not mine but one I really like is The Breversal. Although technically not as correct as breunification, breintegration, the brejoing or the brestoration.
You had me at brest…oration.
Oi mate, come and rest yer head on our European bosom hehe
Brenter? Brundo? Brtl-Z? I know there’s a gem of a name for this out there somewhere…
I like Brtl-Z written, but probably no longer once I hear a brit talk about Bontrol-Z lol
Burtle zed.
Literally the only good thing that could come out of this shit show.
Yes, let’s go!
We’ll forgive you, UK.
But hopefully not enough to give them a ton of privileges if they join the union again
One of us, but for real this time.
Bingo, make the message very clear
If you leave you’re in for a bad time (for a while, no one can tell the long term effect)
If you come back you’re not getting the same privileges you had in the past
They should be given the best of privileges, but on the EU’s terms: everything that is beneficial for the people in the UK and their economy, unless that’s harmful for the union (such as exemptions from fishing quota or whatever). A stronger member leads to a strong whole, generally speaking.
They already had tons of privileges that other countries didn’t get the last time they joined, see how that went.
I now see you meant we shouldn’t give them privileges other countries don’t have either, I do agree with that. I most of all meant we should create the conditions that make it as attractive as possible to rejoin the EU. In some articles about a multi-speed EU they say the UK could join at the lowest speed in a similar way Norway and Switzerland are ‘members’ of the economic area, I think it’s more realistic the UK will first have an agreement like those two countries before they become a full/regular member again.
I don’t see them coming back if they can’t keep the Pound
Tbf we almost certainly can, just play the Swedish game of perpetually slightly not complying with euro requirements.
if trump gets the uk back in the eu at least something good would have come of it.
Even digital goods like games via UK are taxed I just checked.
