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The funny thing is that this is completely impossible. Only very few, very big or very lucky projects have decent ux and i would even ague that they are THAT much better than proprietary stuff under the hood that they are still comically bad in comparison to their technical prowess.
The reason for this - and yes you will probably disagree - is the shit legislation we have accepted over the past decades. People got addicted to overpolished shitapps with gambling mechanics and dark patterns. The way out is gonna be brutal.
So no, we wont get better ux, preriod. We pay for it or we get buttfu**ed by big tech some more. One way to ensure payment is voting as comically left as you can.
I would probably just rent an instance if I was a mod or creator and just host my community there. I think its understandable that federated admins are much more cautious due to the well known tactic of shooting a „politically foreign“ instance down for other - easier to prove and get away with - reasons.
I host my own instance and its not a huge project in itself but I would never host any community for someone else that even has the remote chance of getting me in hot water, legally. Especially because of my vocal political leaning. I‘m perfectly able to get myself into hot water.