my dad specifically has really been feeding into hypermasculine, gun-loving, “true American” MAGA nonsense. I am gay and while he has no issue with me or my partner he continues to align himself with people who do not believe in my right to exist. He didn’t believe Elon did a nazi salute. He said I was listening to the liberal propaganda. Now that trump has pulled out all the stops and continues to implement project 2025, I question whether I can still be in contact with him. Even if he is not (outwardly) rooting on everything, him not condemning what is happening to me seems like he is doubling down on his beliefs.
I am drained mentally and honestly think that he will continue supporting the destruction of this country and the rights of millions all because he idealizes their “alignment” with masculinity, guns, the military, traditions, etc.
How do I approach the topic with him and tell him it’s either me or these beliefs/trump? Is that selfish of me? I know some people say that this will only further the divide but honestly I feel like things now are irreperable and I should not be involved with people who turn a blind eye to fascism.
My best friend at work is a dyed-in-the-wool conservative. He will never not be - and I rush to profess that he is not an asshole…he just thinks conservitave/republican is the side he needs to support probably because that’s what daddy did, dunno. We see eye-eye on most other things.
We do not agree on anything political except that everyone is way too heated up over everything. We are still friends, regardless.
My point in responding is that his gay daughter disconnected from him after Trump v.1 - would not take a call or interact in any way. This is painful for my friend and he has been confused by it but does not realize why his daughter won’t engage. I think she is offended that his political choice doesn’t allow for her right to exist and, frankly I agree with her.
I think my friend has lost his daughter forever because he is a stubborn man. I hope your dad can open his heart to accept you.
Have you ever explained things to him about his daughters viewpoints? Just tell him “Ya know, (his name), I’ve been thinking. People with (his hair color) shouldn’t have the right to exist. People with (his hair color) are just no good, rotten nasty people! They don’t have the right to live on MY planet, breathing MY air! Right? Don’t you agree?”
And make it as absurd as actual racism/homophobia is. Make it clear that you hate him for things he was born with, and he now has to pay for being a dirty (color) hair’d person! Don’t be shy. Be as hateful as you’ve seen people like that be.
Then ask him how he feels about you. Get him yelling at you. Get him insulting you. Ruffle his feathers. Smile at every insult he hurls.
And then tell him "What I have just shown to you is a mirror. I have acted as you have acted to your daughter. These are the messages she hears you saying to her. It was hard to hear wasn’t it? You didn’t want to hear a single further thing out of my mouth. THAT is the same experience that your daughter has when you spew those same messages at her.
YOU are an individual. YOU have the ability to change your views. All I can do is hold up the mirror to show you what version of you you’re projecting into the world. Your daughter is an individual, and she has the right to live her life any way she wants. With or without you. If you care, it’s up to you to be the version of yourself that she wants in her life. Not the version you try to force into her life."
After that, there’s literally nothing more you can do. Slap him with reality, and if he continues to be shitty to his family, he can die alone.
Oh yeah get them angry at you, than they’ll calmly sit by and listen to reason despite never reasoning themself into their belief in the first place.
Just be honest, tell him his choice is for a country that actively hurts his daughter. If he doesn’t hate her, why enable her suffering.