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Cake day: November 2nd, 2024

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  • You joke, but GPT comes up with some bangers for UK politicians…

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    UK Politicians Trading Card Game

    A satirical take on British politics, styled like a mix between trading cards and Cards Against Humanity.


    John Prescott – Trading Card

    Card Title: “Two Jags, One Punch”
    Type: Labour Tank

    • Power: 9/10
    • Charisma: 5/10
    • Policy Success: 6/10
    • Scandal Factor: 7/10
    • Verbal Clarity: 2/10

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    Special Ability: “The Left Hook of Justice”

    Once per game, if an opponent plays a hostile media card, Prescott may respond with a Swift Uppercut, instantly negating the attack and leaving journalists dazed.

    Quote:

    “The Green Belt is a Labour initiative and we intend to build on it.”

    Flavour Text:
    A heavyweight in both politics and physical altercations, Prescott served as Tony Blair’s deputy and made headlines for his blunt approach to diplomacy—particularly when it involved egg-wielding protesters. He was famous for his commitment to public transport… while owning two Jaguars. :::


    Tony Blair – Trading Card

    Card Title: “Cool Britannia’s War Criminal”
    Type: Labour Messiah (Corrupted Form)

    • Power: 8/10
    • Charisma: 10/10
    • Policy Success: 9/10
    • Scandal Factor: 9/10
    • Trustworthiness: -3/10

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    Special Ability: “Weapons of Mass Distraction”

    If an opponent plays a Bad Press or Public Inquiry card, Blair may redirect all attention onto a vague existential threat, completely avoiding consequences for one turn.

    Quote:

    "Look, what we have to understand is… (proceeds to dodge the question for 15 minutes)"

    Flavour Text:
    Once hailed as the saviour of the Labour Party, Blair modernised Britain with a grin, a soundbite, and a suspiciously close friendship with George W. Bush. His legacy is a cocktail of public service reforms, spin-doctoring, and a certain little invasion that we swear was justified at the time.


    David Cameron – Trading Card

    Card Title: “The Pig Whisperer”
    Type: Tory Toff

    • Power: 6/10
    • Charisma: 7/10
    • Policy Success: 5/10
    • Scandal Factor: 8/10
    • Competence: 4/10

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    Special Ability: “Referendumb”

    If Cameron is forced into a difficult decision, he may trigger a National Vote, shifting responsibility onto the public. However, if the outcome is catastrophic, Cameron immediately Resigns to a Nice Cottage in the Cotswolds.

    Quote:

    “We’re all in this together—well, apart from my friends in the City.”

    Flavour Text:
    The man who gave the UK its most chaotic decade since World War II, Cameron’s legacy is austerity, that referendum, and that alleged incident with a pig. Thought he could handle populism—turns out he couldn’t even handle Boris Johnson.